With no invitation
by Sorceress Nadira
Summary: On one rainy morning Fenris found a soaked mage knocking at his door. Letting her in was probably not one of his well-thought decisions, but who can resist the subtle charm and less subtle fireball...? / Possible fluff, possible angst, rating may change.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N _

_I think I just had to get it out of my system. DA2 is that kind of game that haunts a person and won't let go until some sort of praise will be committed. In my humble case a praise is made in form of fanfiction. (Plus, it was raining and the image under my eyelids was very, very persistent.)  
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_I recently found out there was a kink meme for the exact same topic I based my story upon. I'm sorry if there are any resemblances between stories written for that meme and mine - completely accidental and unintentional... Still, I hope You'll enjoy reading about Hawke and Fenris again..._

_Thousand thanks to my dearest beta, **Hatsepsut**, for wasting her time over my grammatical misery :)_

_Bioware owns everything, I only __own__ my obsession._

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><p>It was another grey morning, cold, filled with the continuous hum of falling rain. It wasn't exactly encouraging to crawl out of bed, so Fenris stayed under the rough blanket, listening to the sound of raindrops splashing against the windowsill. The room was chilly and it probably meant his fire had burned out throughout the night. He would have to break more furniture and the thought of any activity made him pull the blanket over his head.<p>

Two days ago he had come home from another trip with Hawke. At first she had claimed, as she usually did, that 'it's just going to be a small job, some monsters infesting one of the old mines, nothing special'. Today, after some of his burns had healed and stopped itching each time he put some clothes on, Fenris tried to decide whether she was that good at fooling them – probably having a lot of fun making them look like idiots – or if was she really that clueless to let them ran into a mature dragon. Both options were possible. Dany Hawke was mistress of little pranks she and Varric usually played at each other. On the other hand, she really tended to forget about doing background check on the jobs she was taking. Sometimes he wondered if offering his assistance in her ventures had been a good idea.

The rumbling in his stomach finally made him fight off the laziness and he got up unwillingly. Combing his coarse, white hair with his fingers, he noticed that the books piling on the table closest to the window were thoroughly soaked. He should fix the broken glass someday, he decided, otherwise he wouldn't be able to start a fire as long as it continued to rain… Fenris pushed the books further from the window and peeked outside. Heavy clouds filled that small patch of the sky he was able to see above the Hightown rooftops, but the weather forecast was obvious. It had been raining for the third day in a row now and it wasn't going to stop.

It wasn't all that bad, though. If it hadn't been for this heavy rain, the battle with that dragon in the Bone Pit could've been ten times harder. Rain definitely didn't agree with the beast's fire and even though Hawke couldn't cast her fireballs either, she had done a great job of freezing the dragon's brain to an ice cube…

Fenris rummaged through bits and pieces of his last meal, hoping there would be something – like a forgotten apple or maybe a slice of dried bread – that would delay his inevitable trip to the larder, but rats had already taken care of everything he hadn't . Gloomily, he thought that Varric was right after all. He really should do something about those vermin, if he was going to stay in the abandoned mansion longer than a while and so far 'longer than a while' seemed to be a possible option. Almost four months had passed since Hawke and her 'merry band of misfits' helped him beat the latest group of Danarius' slavers to a pulp. Since then nothing had indicated he was still being hunted and even though Fenris wasn't planning to let his guard down, it felt somehow reasonable to make his existence more comfortable.

He wasn't going to clean the mansion though. Not… yet, anyway. There was some sort of nasty 'slave task' ring to cleaning and he irrationally resisted the idea.

He was halfway across the main hall when he heard someone knocking on the door of the mansion. Fenris froze. His hand travelled above his shoulder only to find out the hilt of the sword wasn't there. He must have left it by the bed, which ironically contradicted his previous thought about keeping his guard. He didn't expect to be attacked on the way to the larder. For a moment he felt a surge of panic; instinct told him to turn around and run, if not for his weapon then maybe at least for cover. He felt his muscles tense, ready to take flight…

Since when do slavers and assassins knock, actually?

The sound turned into heavy banging, as if someone outside was getting anxious. Relaxing slightly, Fenris looked around and caught the closest thing that at least slightly resembled a weapon and probably could be used as one. He tried not to think it used to be a plant of some sorts when dry soil began to spill from the ornamental pot. At least it was some heavy ceramics, good for smacking…

The banging stopped when he was at the narrow window that allowed him to take a look at the doorstep without being seen. His eyes widened in surprise. There was some sort of… creature standing outside the mansion, about seven feet tall with a very pointy head or maybe helmet of sorts. It was hard to tell under the blanket the being had thrown over its head, probably meant as a protection from the rain. A misshapen hunch, also covered by the blanket, made the creature look like an Abomination, but it didn't have their foul scent. Fenris was pretty sure he would be able to smell it from here, if it had one.

He watched with fascination as it swayed uncertainly and turned sideways, as if looking around. Then a small hand, awkwardly too small for the size of the creature, emerged from under the blanket and hammered on the door with new fierceness. Fenris noticed a bracelet tied around its wrist – black leather strap with a single green glass bead… He had seen it before.

He jumped to the door before the banging had a chance to stop and opened it widely. The tall figure swayed inwards when the small fist didn't land on the door and Fenris managed to catch her with one hand – tossing away the dried plant with the other. The blanket slipped from Hawke's staff and heavy backpack that she carried, and then her triangular face, framed with very wet and very orange hair, appeared from underneath. She caught her balance quickly and grinned at him, straightening up.

"So you are at home anyway! I began to lose hope..."

"What are you doing here, Hawke?" he interrupted her sharply, fighting off that awkward feeling caused by her weight in his arms only a moment ago. He wasn't prepared for any sort of physical contact with anyone yet and he certainly wasn't prepared for this red-haired mage, even though it wasn't the physical pain he was afraid of, but… She didn't seem to be offended by the tone of his voice, however. She ignored it, like every other time when Fenris scowled at her, criticized the fact she was a mage or made an angry remark about her decisions.

"It's pouring outside, I'm freezing," she said instead, clearly avoiding an answer to his question. Her teeth chattered slightly. "Can I come in?"

"You're already in, Hawke," Fenris pointed out the obvious. He wasn't certain if her shivers were genuine or if they were another one of her little acts, but he gestured her further in and closed the door. She relaxed visibly, throwing the blanket from her arms to the floor. Her backpack followed it almost instantly. Dany sighed, stretching with relief. Fenris eyed the backpack suspiciously, but it didn't explode nor do anything weird, it just stood there, a lump of material tied with burnt piece of rope.

"What's inside?" he ventured carefully. He wasn't hoping for an answer, but he got one this time.

"Some of my… stuff, let's put it that way. The most important stuff. I kinda… moved out of Uncle Gamlen's shack. For a while."

Fenris raised his eyebrows, readying himself for a heated protest, but Hawke gave him one of those 'sad kitty eyes' look.

"Can I explain it by the fire or something, please, Fenris? I'm freezing…"

His mouth formed a 'NO!', but he forced it back with a grunt and resigned. For now. He wasn't Anders to fall for kitty or puppy eyes too often, but he could make an exception just once. He gestured towards his room and Dany went there quickly. Fenris gave her backpack and very wet blanket one last offended look, before he followed her.

There was something about Hawke that immediately made her a 'right person in a right spot'. She blended in like a chameleon. Once she took a seat at the bench near the fireplace and extended her palms towards the remains of the last embers in it, she looked like she was always there. Perfect fit.

"I… there's a broken cabinet in the corner, it is probably going to burn fine," Fenris said after a while, watching her with amazement. He wished he had her skill, but even if he did, he would probably never go unnoticed with those lyrium brands on his skin. Or maybe he would? Hawke was a mage, she had a provocative, green tattoo on her cheek and temple, she never left her house without her staff, and yet…

"Cabinet?" her eyes widened in surprise. "You're burning furniture?"

"Firewood is costly." Ignoring her stare, he went ahead and built a small pyre around the dying embers. Then he reached for the book he last used and tore a page out of it.

Next thing he knew he was lying on the floor and Hawke was snarling from the bench, clutching the book in a protective embrace. Fenris was back to his feet in a second.

"What…," he began angrily, but she snapped at him, throwing him off-balance.

"Ignorant jerk!" she hissed. "Don't you dare treat books like that!"

He scowled at her, taking a step back. He wasn't ready for this. Books were just another piece of furniture left by the Tevinter merchant in the mansion – Fenris sold most valuable ones and decided to use all the rest the way he saw fit. Now he realized that maybe Hawke – a mage and a well-educated person as she was – might see it a bit differently. For a moment that too familiar feeling of inferiority overwhelmed him and he shook it off with disgust. Something in his face must have betrayed him, because Dany's expression changed and she backed off, looking away apologetically. She cleared her throat.

"I'll help you with it, if you want," she suggested and, not waiting for him to answer, raised her hand towards the fireplace, snapping her fingers. Sparks showered from them, landing on the wood and it caught fire immediately. Fenris realised it was just for show, since he knew Hawke could cast a fireball only by moving a brow while staring at her target. It made him feel even worse, angry at her for being what she was, despite the confusing certainty that what she just did, she did to ease the tension. He took a few breaths to calm himself.

"You mentioned something about moving out from your Uncle's… house."

"I did, didn't I?" she risked a glance at him, embarrassment in her eyes. "It was… a little sudden, I'm afraid."

'And you came here because?'

She turned to face him again, looking up at him with a pleading smile.

"Fenris, I need to ask you a favour. A very important one. Please," she raised her hand to silence him, continuing breathlessly. "I had to get out of there, my Mum is going crazy about me and Carver dying in the Deep Roads – or only me, in case he's going to be left behind. Varric is going crazy too, he keeps on discussing details with me and I just don't have a head for that stuff, it's far beyond my area of comprehension, you know me, right?"

She paused, awaiting some sort of reaction from him and Fenris nodded a little reluctantly.

"So they keep pushing those responsibilities on me, you know, my Mother, Carver, Varric… I just can't take it anymore, so I ran away. Only for a few days, but I need to stay somewhere…" she paused again and smiled her most charming smile. "Please, please, please let me stay?"

He was sort of expecting it from the moment she dropped her backpack on his floor, but it still hit him like a hammer on the head. Hawke staying… here? He tried that thought for a while, giving it a scrutinising look while Dany continued breathlessly:

"I swear I'll just find myself a tiny little corner and I won't bother you at all. There must be some place in this giant house that I can stay in for a few nights, right? You won't even see me, if you don't want to…"

"Why here?" he interrupted her and Hawke gave him a puzzled look. "Why don't you go to that elven bloodmage girl, or to that Lowtown infirmary your abomination friend runs?" He realised he didn't want it to sound like 'go to your mage friends, not here', but it was too late. Hawke hesitated, biting her lower lip. For some weird reason it looked really appealing.

"The Alienage where Merril lives is too close to my family, and Anders…" she sighed. "Once they start looking for me, that will be where they'll go first. Your house is the last place anyone would expect to find me… Except for the Chantry maybe, but you don't really think I can put up with that blue-eyed excuse of a saint, do you…?" her voice faded away and she fell silent, staring at him with her eyes wide opened. Fenris realised he was clenching his teeth.

"Last place, you say." He didn't know why her words put him off so hard. After all he did rather keep to himself, seldom visiting the Hanged Man for the others' company and he practically never invited them in – with the small exception of Hawke herself, who sometimes paid him short visits in the morning only to ask if he was going to join them on this or that. But…

"I… You're hardly the party type, Fenris," she began apologetically and he snorted at that. Hawke got up. "In this case… well, I think I could steal some Chantry outfit and maybe hide my staff with some sort of illusion for a few days. Thanks for letting me in, I feel slightly less soaked thanks to your fireplace."

"Hawke…!"

She paused, tilting her head to the side, surprised. With a sudden guilt Fenris realised she was really ready to leave in that wretched weather, obviously believing he would throw her out just like that. Just a moment ago he thought he could, too, and that was even worse.

"The next room has some sort of a bed and a fireplace," he said, a bit too sharply and a bit too fast. "You can stay as long as you want."

For just a moment Dany looked like she was going to hug him, but she didn't, smiling widely instead.

"Thank you, thank you a thousand times, Fenris, you're a lifesaver…" she paused and considered something for a second. "Well, maybe not like that last time, when you smashed the skull of that carta thug, right before he sliced me in two, but almost. I'll just go there now and get out of your way, okay? Thank you again, I really, really mean it!"

Smiling and still talking she retreated out of the room, leaving him standing by the fireplace, a storm of thoughts buzzing in his head. Had he just invited her in – the redheaded apostate, the slightly crazed, self-appointed leader of their small company and probably the most intriguing woman he had ever met? Fenris considered the possibility of Hawke having cast some spell on him, but he pushed that thought away immediately. She wouldn't do that, this much he knew about her already. Why had he done that, then, out of his own free will? Wasn't she everything he loathed, everything his slave life had taught him to hate? Mages were unpredictable, attached to power and blood, and he had just let one of them sleep under his roof; no, he had invited one of them to share this place with him, if only for a while.

Granted, Hawke was nothing like the mages in Tevinter he knew from before. She was selfless and compassionate, even though he had a lot to say about the people she decided to stand for… Like Anders, that abomination she accepted just a bit too gladly in their team. Fenris was becoming instantly nervous around the mage, watching him with distrustful and wary eyes. But Hawke was nothing like that.

He shouldn't have trusted her in the first place, he knew that. The very moment Fenris learned what she was, he should have left, thanking her for her assistance, but nothing more. Instead, he had offered his aid in the Deep Roads expedition Hawke had planned to participate in soon. He never figured out why he had done that, but one thing followed the other and soon enough a mansion he stayed in for just a few nights became his uncomfortable home. Slowly, he had grown used to Kirkwall and most of all to Hawke - inviting him to take part in jobs she took one by one to pay her share in the expedition. Slowly he had begun to get used to her other companions as well – stern and law-abiding Aveline, a Fereldan like Hawke and her family, currently member of the city guard. Varric, the slightly too talkative dwarf, who never parted with his crossbow he quite disturbingly kept calling "Bianca". Anders, former Grey Warden, currently a runaway apostate. Merrill, openly a bloodmage, whose mere sight was enough to spoil Fenris' mood for a day. Isabela, pirate and former captain, Carver, Hawke's brother with 'big sister' issues, Sebastian, prince and almost a Chantry priest… Their company wasn't always welcomed, but Fenris had learned to know them and, in the case of some of them, even respect them. None of them was as important as Hawke, however. He was aware of the fact that others felt the same – it was her presence, something in her personality that kept them all together despite all odds.

And now she was outside his door, dragging her backpack on the way to the room he had offered her…

It was just too weird.

He sat on the bench, staring at flames dancing in the fireplace and listened.


	2. Chapter 2

_I wanted to thank all people, who added this story to their alerts and favourites, and who were kind enough to leave me a comment. It's always nice to be appreciated *winks*_

_I also wanted to thank **Hatsepsut**, who is soooo fast with beta'ing, I can hardly keep track ^.^_ _Alpha to beta, over!_

_Shorter piece this time, so expect fast update..._

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><p>This room was almost as big as the whole of Gamlen's shack altogether. And it was almost as messy. Dany threw her backpack on the floor, looking around in amazement. It was probably a bedchamber once before, with that ominous bed with mahogany pillars and giant pillows – once fluffy, now rotten and stinking of decay. She carefully put them on the floor, not too surprised to see a rat's nest underneath. Three black animals scurried through the floor and disappeared under the cabinets at the opposite wall. Hayate would chase them, if he was here, but Dany had decided to leave the mabari at home, with mother. She loved to have the dog with her everywhere, but it would be less suspicious to leave him behind – at least for a while her family would think she just went to visit someone. Besides, it was safer for mother that way. An intelligent wardog was as sure a guardian as any fierce warrior could be.<p>

The slightly damp quilt followed the pillows and Dany was relieved to find out that the mattress was generally usable. She decided to use the pillars and threw her blanket over them to dry. Then she pulled the smallest cabinet closer to the bed and unpacked her clothes into it, first checking for any holes rats might get through.

She realised she was working in silence to push the feeling of surprise out of her mind. She had been hoping she could persuade Fenris to let her in, otherwise she wouldn't have bothered to come here, but it had happened faster than she had been ready for. It was probably a good sign, maybe he had finally decided to grasp the idea that not all the mages were the same and not all people wanted to hurt him rather than try to be his friends. She looked at the book she pulled from his hands and bit her lower lip. He still needed to be civilised a tiny bit, though…

She put the book on the shelf next to others that already stood there and that disturbed a thick layer of dust covering the cabinet. Dany sighed. Before she went to sleep in this room, she would have to try and clean it at least a little. She was tired of the mess that was always present in Uncle Gamlen's shack, despite all the efforts she and her mother, and sometimes even Carver, put into cleaning. Dust and filth were everywhere, a constant element in the Lowtown landscape. It seemed inevitable. She realised she was envying Fenris this huge place and she quickly started thinking about something else. Dusters, she would need lots of them. And then she could probably go and try to find where the housekeeper once kept sheets and blankets. There had to be a place for it somewhere.

She opened the door to step out and almost collided with Fenris. He had an embarrassed look on his face and she couldn't help thinking he must have been eavesdropping and peeking through the keyhole.

"I… was wondering if you need any firewood," he began and hesitated.

"Sure, if it's not too much of a bother," Dany smiled encouragingly. It was always funny to see him confused, like that time in Hanged Man when he and other guys lost everything to Merrill, because Isabela had been wearing a scantier corset than usual and had sat behind the elven mage, leaning over her thin arm continuously, pretending to read her cards. "I thought I could find a bowl of water and clean around a little. Any ideas where I can find one? And some dusters?"

She watched his face expression change, from mild surprise to controlled anger. She didn't realise she had said something wrong.

"How should I know!" Fenris snapped, his eyes narrowing slightly like every time she did something to aid mages or contradict his beliefs otherwise. She was sort of used to the sight by now. "I live in this mansion, I don't clean it!"

"It could use a little cleaning, Fenris."

He snorted, apparently not approving of her point of view. Dany tried not to feel irritated.

"Look, I just thought I could be useful and sort of repay you for the hospitality. If you don't want me to do anything, just say so. You don't have to look at me like I was something glued to your heel, you know…" She watched him eye her suspiciously and she noticed he, probably unconsciously, stepped from one foot to another. "My mother says that's the only womanly trait I have, the appreciation for order, but if you don't approve, it's okay." Her brother sometimes called her a neat freak, but she decided to skip that part. Fenris sighed.

"I didn't want it to sound like I don't approve of this," he began, paused again and continued carefully. "If it pleases you, do as you like. I apologise."

Dany felt a sudden urge to pat him on the shoulder, but didn't move her hand at all. She had noticed a while ago that Fenris was doing his best to avoid any physical contact with anyone and she blamed it on his difficult past. Whatever was the reason, she decided not to make him uncomfortable by the sudden hugs and handshakes she used to exchange with her other companions.

"Apologies accepted. I'll go and look for that bowl, if you don't mind then."

"I… I don't mind. It's not what I meant…" His expression changed from troubled to painful. "If we don't count taverns, last time there were other people under one roof with me I was still a slave. If I offended you in any way, I am sorry."

The thought of that had never occurred to her. For a moment Dany felt ashamed of herself – most of all she wanted to avoid pressuring Fenris and apparently she had messed it up completely. She should've expected something like this, knowing what she knew about his troubled past…

"After all our arguments, you should know better that I'm not this easily offended," she said quickly, trying to turn it into a joke. "I must say, I kinda envy you, actually. You have a whole house for yourself… Must be very peaceful."

Fenris gave her a look she knew all too well – it said 'you're joking again, knowing this is serious'. She knew, of course, there was simply no reason to brood over the serious things. It was something Fenris could do really, really well, but at the same time something she didn't approve of. No matter how hard his past could have been, it was already behind him. Dany never understood why he couldn't just leave it where it belonged. They stared at one another for a while and finally the look of mild irritation faded away from Fenris' face.

"I was intending to ask if you had your breakfast already, Hawke."

"I did, but I appreciate the thought. If your courtesy extends to dinner, I'll be interested in one, later in the day."

He nodded, only a bit reluctantly. "I'll leave you to your… activity then."

Dany watched him walk out the door. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him, for his pitiful existence as a slave in Tevinter, for his lonely life here in Kirkwall, for his hatred and distrust that he showed everyone, not only her. She had always been cursed with being too sensitive to others' emotions and she could instinctively sense his pain. Dany sighed. She would help him gladly, if only Fenris was interested in her support, but so far he had been successfully pushing her away. She could hardly blame him; after all, she was a mage and the mere fact he hadn't left her company yet was more than surprising. And maybe that was a good sign…


	3. Chapter 3

_Promised fast update. Again, many thanks for the comments and many hugs for **Hatsepsut** (who is a kickass writer herself, You should definitely go and search for her stories!)._

_Watch out, girls, the floor is sooo slippery..._

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><p>Fenris brought himself breakfast and listened. By now he knew all the sounds the old mansion made – the creaking of wood, water gurgling in pipes, the distant steps of people on the street, sometimes a sound of a cart bouncing on cobbles… The tiny noises that Hawke made in the room disturbed that familiar pattern. They weren't loud or anything, they just were there. As much as he tried to concentrate on anything he usually concentrated on, he just couldn't. Her presence was alien and oddly fascinating.<p>

After some time he realised that the sword he had been sharpening was resting untouched on his lap. Fenris tried to stop listening and imagining Hawke walking around the room. It wasn't that difficult, once he learnt to recognise her steps – she continued walking from one end to another, stopping here and there for a while, then walking again, then pausing… He shook his head. He really should find himself some sort of occupation.

She left the room.

The mansion was big and Hawke's steps quickly died in the distance. It was surprising how silent the room became without her small noises. Fenris felt himself relaxing, as if all the listening was a part of waiting for something to happen. Memories came back to him – hours, weeks and months of waiting in silence of Danarius' household, waiting for his master to require him. The air had been full of expectancy, heavy smell of incense and fear. The fear had been overwhelming. He remembered… waiting for a task, determined not to fail, not to cross the master in anything; afraid of a mistake, of a punishment awaiting those who failed… He shuddered. It was more than three years since he had got away, but the memories still haunted him and he couldn't forget, not yet.

He got up and started to pace nervously in front of the fireplace. Old fear, buried somewhere deep in his soul, awakened and didn't want to go away. Fenris tried to push it, calming himself with deep breaths. There was nothing to be afraid of. Danarius was far away and his slavers must have given up after the last failure. His steps quickened.

She was still somewhere in the mansion… what could possibly take her so long? He wasn't sure how much time has passed, but Hawke should be back already, shouldn't she? Fenris shook his head. It was foolish to worry about her, she wouldn't get lost in the mansion, for Maker's sake! But then maybe…

Maybe rats in the larder scared her (a woman who faced a dragon without as much as a twitch?), maybe she fell from damaged stairs and broke her leg; maybe the slavers found their way inside the mansion and kidnapped her… Fenris was amazed at the number of possibilities his imagination came up with. It was irrational, he knew that much, but…

He stormed out of his room, almost running in the direction that Dany's steps had disappeared a while ago. He followed the corridor leading to the servants' quarters and passed them quickly. Wherever he saw a door opened, he would check in, but there was no sign of Hawke anywhere. He seemed to notice a difference, though – small changes in the mess he had gotten used to. There, a cabinet was opened and emptied; somewhere else a basin full of water stood, smelling of soap… Fenris reached the end of the corridor where a low door led to the courtyard and the much neglected gardens. There was a key he had never seen before in the keyhole and the door was opened. Feeling a little irritated and a little concerned, he pushed it and walked out.

The courtyard was a square opening, bordered by walls of the mansion on three sides and by the garden on the fourth. A line of columns supported a roof, sheltering some part of the courtyard, leaving an open space in the middle. There used to be a stone mosaic constructed on the floor - a huge, red dragon - but it was now missing a lot of pieces. Small puddles formed in the holes where the cobbles had disappeared, making the dragon glitter as if its scales were made of water. Fenris spotted an innovation, however. A thick rope was stretched between some of the columns and white – and sometimes greyish – pieces of cloth hanged from it, rain soaking them thoroughly. Fenris looked around, puzzled. He noticed Hawke's robes, neatly folded on a stone bench near the wall and a small towel placed on top. A little afraid of what might happen, he cleared his throat and coughed.

That caused a movement amidst the cloths. A hand emerged from between and then Dany's head appeared, her red hair wet and tightly pressed to her skin. She wiped her eyes and blinked, squinting to spot him. Then, quite suddenly, she started to laugh.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, when she had calmed down a little. Casually, she wrapped the cloth that hanged in front of her around her body. "I'm slightly undressed at the moment!"

Fenris felt heat creeping up his neck. He could see that well, the curves of her body outlined by the sheet. It was awkward, awkward and impossible to find himself in such a situation.

"What are you doing here, Hawke?" he ventured, trying to hide his embarrassment behind irritation. She shrugged.

"Laundry, apparently. I thought I could use the weather to rinse the bedclothes a little…" she wiped her eyes again. "Would you mind turning around, please? I'd dress myself."

"I… of course." He did that quickly, fixing his gaze on the stone wall. He heard movement behind him: Hawke's feet splashing water in the puddles, the rustle of material on her skin as she moved between the bedclothes… And a curse, when her foot slipped on the cobble. Fenris spun around, fast enough to rush forward and catch her arm before she fell. Dany clenched her fingers on his hand, catching her balance quickly. Fenris concentrated on staring at her face, determined not to offend her with his glaring, but he couldn't help noticing she was dressed only in cream-coloured underwear. Hawke returned the stare, sparks of laughter in her green eyes… and for the first time Fenris realised her eyes were as large and green as those of elves. And very, very pretty.

"You can let go of me now," she said, her voice trembling slightly with laughter she fought back. Unwillingly, he relaxed his fingers, noticing with slight panic that his armoured glove left red markings on pale skin of Hawke's arm. She followed his gaze and shrugged. "It's okay. I still appreciate the rescue. Although, if you would be so kind as to stop flattering me with your eyes, I could finally pull some clothes on…"

Fenris took a few steps back, turning his back to her again. He should walk away now, he knew that, but instead he waited for her to dress. It took some time, because Hawke was bursting with muffled laughter every once in a while. Finally, she stood beside him and patted his shoulder. Fenris noticed she was still grinning.

"I'm sorry," she said, pushing wet hair from her face. "It's just… I really couldn't expect you'd come here, I would be more… prudent otherwise."

Feeling slightly speechless, he nodded to that. He tried to think about something to say, but the only thing he came up with was 'It's a rare pleasure to see a woman as beautiful as you', and he pushed that deep to the corners of his mind. As much as he had promised to practice his flattery for her next visit, he couldn't just… Dany was still looking at him, her head tilted to the side, a faint smile across her lips.

"Well, since it's so very awkward to stand here just like that, what do you say about getting back to the mansion?" she finally said and Fenris felt suddenly relieved that she had broken the silence. "I still have a few things I wanted to take care of…"

He let her in, trying not to follow her with his eyes as she opened the door and quickly disappeared inside the building.


	4. Chapter 4

_Special thanks to **Summer Wonderland** and my wonderful beta, **Hatsepsut**, for commenting ^.^ Also many thanks to all people who added this story to their alert and/or favourites!_

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_Warning - some bloody scenes are going to appear in this chapter._

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><p>The rest of the day hadn't been even half as exciting as the laundry. Even though Dany had to admit it was kinda enjoyable, the way Fenris looked slightly flustered when challenged with her half-naked presence, it also felt… confusing. It was a strange sort of relationship they had going between the two of them – with Fenris being the emotional porcupine he was and her being a mage he tried to loathe. She couldn't say whether this mixture could lead to anything more than a careful alliance she was trying to establish. She sometimes wondered – and it happened more often now that there was only a wall separating them, with nothing more pressing on her mind – how would it be to push this relationship further. She wouldn't mind checking out where Fenris' tattoos ended, but what would happen after she did?<p>

Having all those thoughts dancing in her head, she had a hard time concentrating on her daily practice session. She always made a point in doing them regularly; still keeping to the word she had given when she was but a child, learning the secrets of her magical talent. Her father had insisted she should be responsible for herself and she always did her best not to disappoint him. She had learned how to read and write, she had mastered spells and in time, when her sister grew up and showed the same magical talent, Dany had taught her along with their father what it took to be a good mage outside the Circle.

Hawke sighed at the thought of her sister. She still missed her and touching this wound with simple thoughts was still too painful. She sat on the bed cross-legged, calming her mind with a low hum as her father had taught her to. Slowly, a small ball of fire appeared between her extended hands and Dany kept it there. Concentration. Calmness. Control. She watched flames licking her fingers with an exceptional caress. It wasn't painful, as long as her mind remained focused on the spell, as long as there were no thoughts disturbing her concentration… no steps behind the wall and small sounds telling her that Fenris was getting ready to go to sleep. Dany risked a quick look at the window behind her. She didn't realise it was already that late. The fireball swayed in its balance, and Dany hissed, when it burned the tip of her finger. Carefully, she threw her toy into the fireplace, where it immediately attacked the wood Fenris had brought her earlier. She sucked on her injured finger, feeling drowsiness overwhelming her thoughts. Letting her mind drift away during practice session always resulted in going to sleep early, considering the amount of energy she used with each long-lasting spell like that. Muffling a yawn, she fed more wood to the fire, making sure it wouldn't go out until morning. Not taking off her robes, but throwing her boots on the floor, she wrapped herself with a blanket and put her head on a bundle that was supposed to be her pillow…

…_**she sat in a hammock, a book in her hands. The air around her seemed to be filled with a sort of glittering mist; thick enough to be noticed and thin enough to let her see everything around. She knew the place well. It was that small piece of the Fade she called her "hideout". Father taught her how to build a place like this; shield it with spells, so the ever-present demons wouldn't notice her. It was a difficult skill, but after a few years she had finally managed to construct it and even add some details that stayed here whether Dany was present or not. Like the hammock and two willow trees, their long branches swaying gently without a wind. She looked up, but the sight above her head was always the same: the giant mass of the Black City – an inaccessible fortress that was said to be a Golden City once, millennia ago…**_

_**"Hello."**_

_**Hawke looked down towards where the voice came from. It was another something she had added to her hideout, although she wasn't certain when and how it had happened. Her father had explained it to her, when she came crying that a demon had entered her hideout when she wasn't looking. Apparently, once a mage began to create in the Fade, a small piece of his mind was left there, keeping the place intact. As it turned out, Dany's piece looked like a cat – or a cat drawn by someone who had only a general idea of cat-ness and had drank too much. With impossibly long legs, ears like triangular sails and a thin tail, decorated with a red ribbon at the end, it was the most stretched cat that could ever appear in anyone's imagination. And it was smiling. Always.**_

_**"Hello," said the impossible cat again, tilting its head to the side. Dany tilted hers as well.**_

_**"Hello, kitty."**_

_**As far as she was aware, the creature never said anything else than 'hello'. It was pretty good at purring and hissing, though.**_

_**She sat in her hammock for a while, staring at a distance with the impossible cat on her lap, purring itself to oblivion. Apart from its continuous sound, the Fade was silent. Dany had learned how to shelter herself from dreams of others, especially when those others were asleep somewhere close. It was common knowledge that both human and elves visited the Fade in their dreams, but what was usually kept secret from those that weren't mages, was the horrible noise the strange dreams could make. Of course, the dreamer hardly remembered anything of it afterwards, but Dany still kept in mind the overwhelming noise of a battlefield she had once encountered in Carver's dream. Since then she kept as far from others as she could, and that was only one of the reasons. The sucking noises that Uncle Gamlen's dreams could make were far worse.**_

_**On the edge of her hearing there was a scream.**_

_**The impossible cat moved its ears and stopped purring. In the confused silence another scream tore the air. It seemed closer than before.**_

_**"Hello?"**_

_**"It must be Fenris' dream," Dany whispered. Most likely, it was a nightmare, with those sounds… She raised her hand to cast a shielding spell, but the impossible cat was still glaring at her, question in its pale eyes. "You know it's never good to interfere…"**_

_**The cat meowed. If this was indeed part of her mind, it was obviously thin**__**king that leaving anyone to that sort of screaming nightmare was inhumane. Dany had to agree. Reluctantly, she got out of the hammock and waved her hand in the air, summoning a Fade equivalent of her magic staff. It was always better to leave the hideout armed – even imaginarily armed like that. In the Fade demons were almost everywhere and they never rejected an opportunity of an easy prey. She approached a border of her hideout – a wobbly, semi-transparent wall that made her feel like she was inside a soap bubble. The impossible cat ran along and jumped, permeating through it easily. Dany tightened her grip on the imaginary staff handle and followed.**_

_**She stepped into a dark dungeon. Walls of black rock climbed high and the ceiling was invisible in the dim light of torches somewhere ahead of her. It was cold and when Dany sniffed the air it smelled damp. And it smelled of blood. She felt shivers creeping down her spine, but she didn't have much choice now, other than to follow the distant light and the red ribbon on the tail of the impossible cat.**_

_**There was a room at the end of the corridor, full with silent people in **__**acolyte robes, working on something… or someone, who lay still on the stone table. Dany heard another scream and she almost screamed herself, when a man, a bearded mage at the age of about forty, passed through her and approached the table. He was semi-transparent, like all the acolytes, a Fade being created by the dream… He didn't notice Dany. At least not yet. She was aware that as soon as she tried to interfere, the dream creations would notice – and they might become dangerous. **_

_**Cautiously, she got a few steps closer. It was Fenris, who lay strapped to the stone table, his arms, torso and legs bare, marked by bloody lines of tattoos. The only thing that moved were his eyes – eyes of a fifteen-year old boy, filled with panic as they followed the bearded mage. Paralysed with sudden horror, Dany watched the man extend his hand slowly to touch the unmarked skin of the elf. As if the tip of his finger was a razor, it left bloody marks whenever it touched the surface, adding more details to an already intricate pattern that covered Fenris' skin. Although his lips didn't move, the boy screamed; a panicked, inhuman scream that made Dany jerk forward, pushing through semi-transparent figures of acolytes. Attacked with her staff, they dispersed when she merely touched them, leaving her in an open space, face to face with the bearded mage. He noticed her presence and straightened up, raising his hand towards her.**_

_**"You're not my dream, bastard," she hissed, hearing the impossible cat hissing at her feet as well. "You will not touch me nor hurt me. Begone!"**_

_**She issued a strike with her staff, its pointy end aimed at the man's chest. It went through him without any resistance, sinking deep in the flesh. The mage screamed, but the sound quickly faded away and dispersed along with him and the dungeon. Dany turned around, but she was too slow. Darkness swallowed her.**_

_**For a while she floated in nothingness, unable to move or do anything to get out of here. It wasn't all that bad, at least for now. There was a chance that such a violently interrupted dream wouldn't commence and after a while she would simply return to her hideout. She tried not to think of what she had seen. Fenris once mentioned he was given his lyrium markings in some sort of ritual he knew little of – or perhaps he simply didn't want to talk about it with her. Now, thinking of that overwhelming panic present in his nightmare, Dany was not surprised at all. She was glad that she had decided to interfere, even though she was still caught in this blank moment of Fenris' dream…She shuddered and spotted the impossible cat floating in the nothingness at her arm's reach.**_

_**"Hello?" it said questioningly, waving its paws as if pretending to trot.**_

_**And then **__**a dream unfolded around them again.**_

_**The light flashed around her and she found herself in richly decorated chamber. Ornate drapes, mahogany furniture, a thick carpet – everything was red and gold, even the clothes Dany was wearing. She cursed under her breath. The dream incorporated her, making her… an elf, she realised with confusion, when she touched her ears. Perhaps she was portraying someone Fenris knew from his life in Tevinter… Most likely a slave like himself. Dany looked around, confused. Apart from her and the impossible cat, sniffing on the embroidered pillows on nearby sofa, the room was empty. Fenris was probably nearby, dreaming another dream. She had to find him and do that fast, before some demon realised she's been meddling around in the Fade. She picked one of the doors blindly and walked through it.**_

_**The corridor she found herself in was very long with a ceiling so high she could barely see it. Giant paintings decorated the walls, their top sides disappearing in the dim light above her head. She didn't like the view. The way dreams looked, usually represented how their dreamers felt and this corridor was radiating inferiority. Dany felt like some sort of a bug, trailing the carpet of someone very powerful, very rich and very scary. She shook the sensation off and began to march down the corridor, humming to make herself feel a little better.**_

_**She realised the door was a good choice, when she heard cries and sounds of flogging not far away. She ran, quickly covering the distance that separated her from the door. It was closed. For a second Dany wrestled with the door handle, the impossible cat meowing at her heels. The cries grew louder and she recognised Fenris' voice.**_

_**"Mistress, please, don't hurt me! Mistress, I beg you…"**_

_**"Silence, useless worm!"**_

_**"I will never fail you again, mistress, I swear, please, please!"**_

_**Dany took two steps back and aimed her staff at the door.**_

_**"Watch out, kitty!"**_

_**The corridor exploded with heat. The door flew inside the room, disappearing into a cloud of smoke immediately. Inside there were two people; Fenris, crouched on the floor on his knees, arms wrapped around his head as a protection against the whip, hanging in the air above him. The woman, who handled it with magic**__**, spun around and stared directly at Dany. Her eyes were blazing red.**_

_**"How dare you…!"**_

_**"Dear me, have I spoiled your fun, miss?" Dany marched in, feeling her dream body of an elf changing as she walked. Back in her own form, she stopped in front of the woman and caught her right wrist. The whip fell to the floor. "Now vanish and don't come back!"**_

_**She felt her arm freeze, when the dream creation fought for its freedom, sucking the energy out of Dany. She gritted her teeth, not letting go until the woman dispersed into thin air with a furious screech. The chamber around her seemed to shiver, as if Dany's vision suddenly got blurry. The dream was fading. She spun towards Fenris, who was still in the same, terrified position, and kneeled beside him.**_

_**"Fenris!" He trembled when she caught his arm and he raised his head, eyes wide open. "Fenris, it's me, Dany. Dany Hawke? You need to wake up!"**_

_**There was blood trickling down his face from the cut on his forehead. She realised something was wrong with his face, something unfamiliar…**_

_**"Mistress, don't hurt me…" he whispered and Dany froze, shocked by the wave of pain and fear that struck her with his words. "Mistress, please…" he didn't seem to recognise her, even though he was staring right at her, frightened, bruised, bleeding from numerous cuts.**_

_**"I'm not that woman, Fenris," she managed to say after a moment. "It's me, Dany. I won't hurt you. You're in a dream, you need to wake up and fast."**_

_**"I… a dream?"**_

_**She finally realised what made him look so different – he was younger than she knew him, the lines of his face softer, his hair shorter… His eyes began to change as he looked at her, fear giving way to confusion.**_

_**"You need to wake up, Fenris, and do it fast." Dany stood up, pulling him from his knees after her. "You have to wake up, before…"**_

_**It was a sensation like a powerful gust of the wind, sweeping everything around except the two of them. Suddenly they were surrounded by nothing but sand in a gigantic desert. Dany cursed.**_

_**"What is going on around here!" She heard Fenris sneer and when she turned to face him, he looked exactly as she knew him; he was even dressed in his usual armour. "What are you even doing here, Hawke?"**_

_**He noticed Dany was still holding his hand and quickly tore it out of hers.**_

_**"There is no time to explain it now," she said quickly, a bit hurt by this gesture. "You're still dreaming. You have to wake up, before the demons get here…"**_

_**"Demons?"**_

_**And it was already too late. Dany noticed them at the edge of her vision, blurred shadows surrounding them fast. Promising to herself that she would never, ever interfere with a dream again, she concentrated, humming a low sound to herself. The matter of the Fade swirled and all of a sudden the ground cracked, opening into a bottomless precipice.**_

_**"Sorry for this," she said to Fenris and pushed him in.**_

_**Ignoring his scream, she spun around. Demons were always coming from behind and now that there was only her, a mage, they appeared.**_

_**After counting the sixth, Dany gave up. There was that desert animal somewhere on the south, that could ran really, really fast. What was its name? Camel? She imagined the animal she once saw in the book and willed its shape. Demons darted in her direction, but she was already running, all four legs pushing fountains of sand in the air. She just had to run far enough to find a softer spot in the fabric of the Fade, which would allow her to wake up. Speeding up, she began to hope she was still strong enough to do that…**_


	5. Chapter 5 & 6

_This time two chapters in one update, because the second part of this is very, very short. Well, it had to be that way._

_Many thanks to my wonderful beta, **Hatsepsut** (because I love to make her blush) and thank You for all the favs and alerts and comments from my faithful reviewers!_

_Do please enjoy!_

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><p>Fenris woke up with a scream.<p>

As he sat up on his mattress, panting, he realised it was something he should be used to, by now. It was really rare for his dreams not to be haunted by memories of his past and he was only grateful they never happened while he was on a trip with Hawke and her companions. Perhaps it was the matter of going to sleep more or less exhausted - maybe that was keeping his nightmares at bay.

Massaging his temples, he realised he had never woken up after falling into a bottomless pit before. Hawke would hear about that; how dare she enter his dreams just like that, just because she was a mage? He should have expected something like this.

He trusted her, he let her in and that's how she repaid him, by invading his privacy…

Fenris got up, throwing the blanket away. He couldn't simply leave it be. She would have to go. Now.

The light in the room where Hawke slept was even fainter than in his. Red embers glimmered in the fireplace, casting blood-red reflections on Hawke's face. She was still asleep, but when Fenris shook her arm she didn't wake up. She just moaned and he quickly let go. Hawke's skin was burning.

_**'You have to wake up, before the demons get here.'**_

"Damn you, Hawke!" he snapped, rubbing his hand. "What did you get into this time?"

A mixture of anger, worry and self-loathing hit him with full strength. She was in danger because of his dream, whatever her reason was to enter it. It was basically his fault and he had no idea if there was anything he could do for her now. He looked around helplessly. There was a bowl of water placed on the cabinet with a small piece of soap floating in it. Hawke must have prepared it for the morning. He caught it and for a moment stood by the bed, the bowl hanging in the air above Dany's head.

"I swear, if you wake up an abomination, I'll kill you, Hawke."

Suddenly, before he decided to pour the water over her, Hawke jerked up, gasping and waving her hands in the air. She almost hit the bowl, so Fenris quickly put it down. For a moment they stared at one another, Hawke breathing fast, her head titled to the side as if she didn't recognise him. Then, suddenly, her face broke into a smile.

"Thank the Maker you're all right, Fenris…" she said hoarsely and started to cough. Not certain if he should try and help her, Fenris didn't move until she calmed down. "What were you trying to do with that bowl?"

"Nothing. What were you doing in my dream?" he replied with a question. She seemed normal enough not to be accused of being an abomination and Fenris felt his concern disappearing, leaving an open space for his anger to return. "I cannot remember inviting you in!"

To his surprise, she had at least enough decency to look embarrassed.

"I… I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have," Hawke stared at her blanket, her fists clutched on it. "I heard your scream and… I don't know. I wanted to help."

"I didn't ask you to!" Fenris snapped. She looked at him, a little irritated.

"Yes, I know. That's why I said I am sorry."

"As if you were!" he shouted at her and spun around, taking a few steps towards the fireplace and then turning back to scowl at Hawke. "It's an easy thing to say you're sorry afterwards, isn't it?" Part of his mind, the more rational one, screamed to look at her face, to see how genuinely guilty she felt, but the other one knew it was a hoax, just another expression Hawke could fake so easily. "I let you in, I trust you and that's what you do in return? I should have known a mage would not miss any occasion to gain more control over the people around!"

"For Maker's sake, Fenris, I was trying to help!" her cheeks were deeply red now, probably both with embarrassment and anger. "I would never imagine you'd see it this way… I would never do anything to mind-control you, you idiot!"

It sounded true… but he knew it couldn't be true.

"If there's one thing I've ever learned about mages, it's never to believe their lies," he said sourly. Hawke froze.

"Are you trying to say I'm no different than that mage and that woman from your dream then?" she asked coldly, but Fenris sensed rage boiling inside her, rage she was trying to keep under control. It was all going wrong, he realised suddenly. What Hawke had said was right; she was nothing, nothing like the mages he knew from before, why would he scream at her…

"Is there anything magic has touched that it hasn't spoiled?" he realised he must have said that, because it was his own voice he was hearing. Suddenly, Hawke got up from the bed and took a few barefooted steps towards him, until she was close enough for Fenris to feel her quickened breath on his face.

"You know nothing of magic," she said in a low, unfamiliar voice. "You know nothing about fighting, about the constant struggle to avoid falling prey to the demons. You have no idea what it's like and who I am, so stop judging me just because you were hurt once before!"

"What would you possibly know about pain, mage?" he taunted, narrowing his eyes. Part of him wanted to use the power of his tattoos and push his hand into her chest, crushing her heart… He almost imagined it pulsing under his fingers, but then another part of him grabbed him by the shoulders and kept him in place.

"Oh, I know, Fenris," Hawke's eyes were dark, without green sparks in her dilated pupils. "Do you? Do you know what it feels like to see your sister, your dear, baby sister, the one you swore to protect, crushed by an ogre, while there is nothing you can do but stand, frozen with fear? Do you know the sound of a demon's voice in your head, saying: 'it's all right, I will help you bring her back and all I need in return is a piece of your soul'? And it's all that it takes – a piece of soul you trade with a demon, the first step on the way to destruction. But of course you know that, you know what it takes, so you tell the demon to piss off and you watch your sister's body as it lies lifeless, your mother despairing… And you know you could have done something and didn't. Do you know that pain, elf!"

She almost screamed the last sentence into his face. He deserved it, Fenris realised with sudden guilt. His selfishness, his own rage had led to this - to Hawke standing in front of him with agony written all over her face. He wanted to open his mouth and say something, to extend his hand and touch her, but she took a step back and the moment was gone.

"I apologised once, I'm not going to do it over and over," she said quietly, almost whispering, suddenly smaller, more fragile than just a second before. "If you're not convinced, I cannot do anything about it. I'll be gone by morning. Now, please, leave me alone…"

"Hawke…" he began, emotions that overwhelmed him making his voice tremble, but she shook her head and turned her back to him.

"Please leave."

He left.

... ... ...

Dany didn't sleep well through the rest of the night. Whenever she entered the Fade, slipping into uneasy dreams, the impossible cat would be curled under one of the willows, silent and motionless. It was distressed too, she realised, in the same way she was. She should have known better.

She should have known better not to act on impulse, that Fenris would misunderstand her and that it would result in him raging at her just as he had. What else could he have done? How else could he react to magic, that he loathed so much? She had made that one mistake she had promised herself she never would – she had used her magic on him, even though she had had the best intentions. Knowing he was the type to sometimes reject a healing spell, she should have known better, but she hadn't.

And then, taken by surprise by his anger, she fought back and said something she should have never said. Mentioning Bethany had awakened pain in her chest and she struggled with it, and failed. Lying awaken on the smelly mattress, she stared at the ceiling, tears running down her cheeks in silent despair. Beth, her little Beth… If there was anything that magic had touched and hadn't spoiled, it had been her little sister.

She got up right before dawn, packing her things in silence. She was almost done, when she realised she must have left her petticoat with all the other laundry on Fenris' courtyard. It wouldn't be right to leave it here, so she sighed and left the room to get it back.

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><p><em>.<em>

_Next chapter will be the last part of this story. I was thinking about writing something more, possibly involving Merrill and maybe Deep Roads as well... What do You think? (My beta keeps saying I should write some smut, ahaha...)_

_Let me know in comments, if You'd be interested in reading something more from me. ^.^_


	6. Chapter 7

_As always, many thanks for reading, faving, commenting and adding this story to Your alerts :) It's the first time I'm getting so much attention and it feels REALLY good ^.^ I guess there are benefits of writing for a big fandom..._

_Also big thanks for my beta,** Hatsepsut,** who did a fantastic job putting up with my ignorance of Perfect tenses... ^.^  
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_Without further babbling, I hereby present You the last chapter. Have fun!_

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><p>The rest of the night was even worse than his nightmares.<p>

Fenris was pacing the room restlessly like a caged wolf. The more his anger at Hawke vanished, the more he was beginning to hate himself, furious for lashing out at her without thinking. Of course, what she had done was also wrong, but it wasn't even a tiny bit as wrong as shouting at her the way he had was. And what she had said…

He heard that some tragedy had happened to the Hawke family on the way from Lothering, but he had never learned what it was. He suddenly remembered Aveline, who had begun to speak something and fell silent after Hawke had given her a warning look. Fenris wasn't one to pry, so he never felt inclined to learn about details… And it didn't help one bit that he had learned them tonight, when Hawke had been screaming at him, her eyes dark and desperate.

He didn't remember his own family – the ritual in which he was given his tattoos was so horribly painful, the shock had wiped out all memories he could possibly have. He didn't know who his mother was, whether he had any siblings or even if they were still alive… And until now he had never thought about it much. He tried to imagine how would it feel like to know his brother or sister his entire life and then lose them, but he couldn't.

If only he had known, if only he had any brains in his head, he would never have said any of those things to Hawke.

Fenris felt a desperate urge to slam his fist against the wall or at least break some furniture, but he restrained himself, thinking about the redhead mage in the other room. He had disturbed her enough for one night – actually, it was enough for a lifetime. No doubts she would leave in the morning and never come back. He decided he should leave too. There was nothing for him in Kirkwall, if…

He paused, before his mind finished the sentence with: "if there was no Hawke he could be with". He tried to rephrase the sentence, adding "at least from time to time" at the end and replacing "be" with "travel", but it still felt like he was hiding something from himself. He definitely wasn't ready for that.

Hawke, the redhead mage with an amazing smile, who hardly ever agreed with him and never ceased helping other mages… But at the same time the only person who had ever shown him so much kindness and attention.

And he had just treated her like a traitor. No, worse. He had treated her like a mage.

Again, not wanting to make noise, Fenris bit his knuckles until he drew blood.

It was already bright when he heard her leaving the room. He rushed to the door but stopped, not opening it. What was he going to say? Apologies seemed worthless; besides, he didn't even know where to start. Fenris listened to Hawke's steps until they disappeared in the distance. To his surprise, it didn't sound like she was leaving the mansion, rather as if she went deeper inside… Even more to his surprise, he realised a sudden sense of relief and even a trace of hope awakening in him. Maybe…

In the distance he heard a knock on the door.

This time he reached for his sword and marched out, fingers tightened around the handle. Hawke was nowhere to be seen in the main hall. When Fenris opened the door, holding his sword so it was clearly visible, he found Hawke's brother waiting on the doorstep.

"Carver?"

"Fenris, good morning. I hope I'm not bothering." Carver's eyes darted around the hall, scanning the area. "Have you seen my sister lately?"

"It depends," Fenris hesitated. "A few days ago I accompanied her to the Bone Pit. Why?"

"She got out of… home yesterday and no one knows where she is now,' replied Carver, his face frozen in an expression of his usual mild suspicion. "Mother is worried sick."

"Maybe she's at the infirmary in Lowtown," Fenris heard Hawke's silent steps deeper in the mansion and coughed loudly. The steps paused. "Have you checked there?"

"It was the first place I went to," Carver tilted his head to the side, a gesture he did almost identically like his sister. "It started last night, when Merrill and Varric came to Uncle's… house to ask Dany to a game of diamondback. I went with them instead and it turned out no one knows where she has disappeared to."

"Barracks?" suggested Fenris, coughing again. If Hawke was going to be any more restless, her brother was going to notice. Carver was already looking at him in a weird way.

"Just left them. Are you sick, Fenris?"

"Bad case of dragon-induced influenza," he gave Carver a cold look and Hawke's brother decided not to pursue the subject further.

"I see. I heard the beast was gigantic, twenty feet tall or more…" the boy hesitated for a moment. "At least Varric was saying so. Anyway, I'll be going. Let me know if you see her, right?"

"I'm sure she is doing fine," Fenris ensured him. Carver snorted.

"Isn't she always, that brilliant sister of mine? I keep telling Ma that, but she won't listen. She keeps saying Dany was kidnapped. Poor kidnappers, if you ask me. They'd have to put up with her."

Closing the door behind him, Fenris realised he wouldn't mind putting up with her. Too much. As he expected, Hawke was waiting in the nearest corridor, peeking curiously outside.

"You didn't tell him," she said, a statement rather than a question. Fenris shrugged. "I… Thank you. This was unexpected."

"Hawke," he started and fell silent. She tilted her head to the side. "I…" Fenris paused again, looking for words, but now, standing face to face with her, it was even harder to find any than a few minutes ago in his room. He watched her orange hair, her eyes with dark circles underneath, telling him she didn't sleep much this night and he couldn't say anything except… except…

"I am sorry."

Her eyes widened a little, as if in surprise.

"There is no need to…"

"Hawke, I am sorry," he repeated solemnly. "I never should have said… what I had said. I hope you can forgive me."

'_And please don't leave_', he added in his thoughts, watching her face for any hint of reaction. She stared at him for a moment, one eyebrow raised slightly in disbelief. And then she smiled.

"I think I can, actually," familiar green sparks appeared in her eyes. "Would you mind not moving for a minute?"

"Not moving…?" Fenris began, but she quickly took a few steps and wrapped her arms around him. He froze, expecting a sting of pain from where her skin touched his, but he realised… She wasn't actually touching him, keeping a distance of an inch between them, enough for Fenris to feel her warmth, but nothing more.

"I know that what I saw in your dream wasn't meant for me," Hawke began silently, her lips close to his ear. "But I now understand why you never let anyone touch you. And this is the closest thing to a warm hug I can give you without hurting you more."

Slowly, Fenris raised his arms and put them around her, pulling her, closing that small distance she created. Part of him wondered if there had ever been another time in his life when he had held another human being in his arms... A second part felt the smoothness of Hawke's skin, smelled the fresh, ginger scent of her hair, felt her heart beating next to his own…

"They don't hurt anymore," he whispered hoarsely. Maybe he imagined that, but her heart seemed to speed up a little, before she slowly freed herself from his embrace. They stood motionless for a moment, looking at one another until Hawke raised her hand and rubbed her blushing cheek. Fenris realised that this silence was not supposed to last forever, even though he could spend the rest of eternity staring at her. He felt an unexpected warmth not only in his body where he held her, but deeper inside, where she had reached with this casual ease of hers, touching him in a way he had never hoped to experience.

"Thank you," he said simply, aware that there was nothing more to say.

"No, I thank you," Hawke smiled. "You didn't rat me out, but I should be on my way back home, before Ma starts pulling her hair out."

Fenris nodded, only a bit reluctantly. The moment was gone, disappearing like a broken soap bubble. Hawke went passed him towards the room he had offered her… just yesterday? He felt like it was years ago. He watched the redhead mage walk out, heavy backpack rested on her shoulders.

"Maybe I should walk you home?" he offered, but she shook her head.

"I can manage, it's not that heavy, you know. Besides…" she hesitated and gave him a smug look. "Besides this would ruin the lie you told my brother. No, I think my location for last night should remain a secret. Our secret."

For a second Fenris got distracted by those two simple words. 'Our secret'. That wonderful, soap-bubble moment was long gone, but her warmth remained and he realised it wasn't going to leave him. Maybe not ever. It was strange and new – an overwhelming feeling of attachment, but he didn't mind.

"The Deep Road's expedition should be starting soon," Hawke continued, and he managed to concentrate on her words again. "I don't know when, but Varric was definitely telling me that. Sometime around a fortnight from now. I think," she hesitated and laughed. "Anyway, once I know for sure, would you consider joining us? I'm not going to force anyone – in fact, I know already that Anders is not interested into getting down there and neither is Isabela…"

"Let me know when you plan to leave," Fenris said, interrupting her. "I do not expect to be occupied with anything else, so I'll be ready to join." He tried a smile and got a wide grin from Hawke in return. "It's always a pleasure… Dany."

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_Thank You for spending Your time with my story _:)


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